Naked I Stand

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Yet there I was on a chilly fall evening, posing and prancing naked in front of 10 total strangers. For three hours, I was a life-drawing model. I’d promised myself I would honour my body and my commitment and do it without being bashful — or throwing up. He adds that, like the first event he went to, it’s the norm for the women to be dressed in everyday clothes, and he’s only been to one event where the women were dressed as dominatrixes. I walked out and introduced myself to the group, and then there was nothing left to do but whip off my sweatshirt and stand naked in front of strangers (many of whom would post their drawings online later). There was nothing to do with my hands and nowhere to rest my gaze. I was nude in a room full of strangers, and now they expected me to pose? What on earth was I doing? I thought, “What if I can’t do this?” But I took a deep, loud breath and found my first pose. As prepared as I felt, there was a moment the night before when I freaked out, unsure if I could go through with it. But then I remembered that when my mom was just seven years older than I am now, she faced her first mastectomy. Her figure was about to change in ways she had no control over. “Yeah,” I thought, “I’m just going to honour the shit out of my body.”

Annabelle doubts that she could sustain a relationship with a guy who wasn’t into CFNM, explaining: ‘There’s nothing better than being clothed in front of a hot naked man, commanding and dictating his every action.’ Onstage, Procida displays warmth and sensitivity, which I would guess are useful qualities when wearing a penis ring (he also calls it "genital jewelry"). After the pandemic, realizing there were no regular naked shows in New York, he saw an opportunity. For a good night of clothed comedy in Brooklyn, it can be tough to draw a crowd. Starting last September, his first "Naked Comedy Show" sold out 10 days in advance. Now, he stages two a night every month, and most have sold out. (The next one is Saturday.) He hopes to raise that to three a month, maybe adding a naked roast battle (although he worries that the rough and ruthless tone of those events might not work for the body-positive crowd). For Terry, feeling embarrassed is part of the fun – despite being at the larger end of the line-up. He explains, ‘it’s still embarrassing getting measured, and being naked with other people – especially when it’s only the men who are naked. I like the embarrassment of being exposed, and the comments I get from being viewed. I enjoy it and get turned on.’ He books veteran comics, the kind who have done sets on late-night talk shows and perform most nights in the city. Their material tends not to be that different from that of their regular gigs. Procida said he looked for diversity, not just of race, gender and sexual orientation, but also body type. ("It's nice to not have five ripped comics on one bill.") His main criteria: They need to be funny and, obviously, willing. Roughly 2 out of 3 comics turn him down. Agreeing and then getting cold feet is not uncommon.

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Billy Procida, the 33-year-old producer and host of "The Naked Comedy Show," has been performing comedy sans clothing since he attended New York University. The second time he performed nude, the woman he lost his virginity to showed up. He bombed. "Bombing is embarrassing, but bombing naked is the worst thing that can happen," he told me at a coffee shop near Union Square, speaking like someone who is long past such hang-ups. Once I’d committed to the idea, there was some body prep to consider. First, I needed to deal with my bikini line. (I chose the heart-shaped option because it seemed the friendliest.) I also paid more attention to what I ate. As much as this was not about my weight, I’d recently shed 40 pounds, and if I was going to be honest, I knew I wouldn’t have gone through with this otherwise. Part of the show's success, and what makes it different from previous versions, is that it takes place at a space belonging to Hacienda, a sex-positive organization that has built a sizable mailing list hosting sex parties. Some of the audience members are regulars, including nudists. Before a recent show, I talked with people who had recently attended nude game nights, nude karate and nude boxing. Initially, Annabelle was unaware that there was a name for her new interest. ‘I just wanted more naked men in my life! Then a friend said, “this is CFNM!” I looked into it, and started watching porn on it and getting into groups and meet-ups around it.’ According to Annabelle, her events tend to start with a striptease from the men. ‘A performance is a must – if they just take their clothes off, what’s the point?’ She says. ‘Forfeits for the worst will be determined by us ladies. It could be a spanking or we might make them melt an ice cube in their bum – it’s entertaining to see them squirm.’

Reactions have varied. ‘Some guys were perplexed and couldn’t understand it, but gave it a go and didn’t like it. Others have been intrigued and embraced it.’I stepped into the bathroom to undress and threw on an oversized hoodie. I looked at my reflection meaningfully in the mirror and realized I secretly loved what I was about to do, and there was no point in lying to myself about it. It's been a busy year for the ex-school teacher turned stand-up comedian, Glory Pearl. Since debuting The Naked Stand Up at Edinburgh Fringe 2014, Glory has taken her one woman comedy show to venues and festivals across the UK, including Brighton Fringe, Guildford Fringe, and LAMBCO Fringe, as well as a Sold Out run at London's Mimetic Festival. When asked if she gets nervous about being naked in front of hundreds of strangers, she replies with a wry smile: "Not really. I'm aware that being naked in a room full of strangers is some people's worst nightmare, but once you've handled a room of unruly kids or a boozy audience in a late night cabaret venue, telling a few jokes with your muff out is a walk in the park." About Glory Pearl

As the night progressed, I became more relaxed. I was awkward, but not unhappy. I was both better and worse at it than I thought I’d be. I felt my cheeks flush and dampness under my arms, behind my ears, between my legs. But I felt seen. And it was thrilling. There was nothing sexual about this, but it was intimate. I went into it thinking it would be one of the most challenging things I would ever do, but it was incredibly liberating. Annabelle, who organises CFNM events, echoes Terry when she says, ‘only once did we do some dominatrix style attire. Usually we don’t wear anything in particular – just normal clothes – nothing that excites the men too much.’ Earlier this year Glory was nominated for a London Cabaret Award, shortly after she performed to over 500 people at The British Naturism Annual General Meeting - to an entirely naked audience! As a single woman, Annabelle has ‘played’ with the men at these events, ‘as in I’ve got them erect and kept them erect, but not given a hand-job to completion. I like watching them complete.’ When Annabelle is in a relationship, she’ll take her partner to the event, and the only ‘playing’ will be with her partner – who will be off-limits to other women at the event.

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The men then masturbated in a competition to see who could ejaculate the furthest. The distances were measured, and marked by a little box. ‘That became the distance to beat for the next ones up,’ says Terry. English: This video is an example of a man and woman having penile-vaginal intercourse in the standing position, a relatively normal example of sexual intercourse. It begins with the insertion of a man's erect penis into a woman's vagina at 0:07, followed by pelvic thrusts, becoming faster, initially to stimulate the vagina as it continues to lengthen and become lubricated. At around 0:49 the man moves the woman's legs apart from each other to allow for better penetration of the vagina. At this point, the man thrusts with his penis moderately, trying different rhythms while the woman is mostly stationary. Then at 1:27 the man and woman begin to thrust against each other in a steady rhythm. The moans and deep breathing associated with increasing arousal begin at about 1:43. At around 2:13 the woman makes very big thrusts, suggesting she is nearing a climax; after her intense thrusting, she pauses at 2:25, whispering "oui," French for "yes," indicating that she experiences an orgasm. The man and woman then continue to thrust vigorously, and at 2:43 both the man and woman reach an orgasm; the man also begins to ejaculate into the vagina. His penis exhibits noticeable contractions both during his ejaculation, and after he withdraws his penis from the vagina at 2:55, when the contractions cause his penis to bounce (which may be assumed partly voluntary) as his erection subsides. Semen can be seen dripping from the vagina after the penis is withdrawn. Other forfeits include making the naked man stand by a window with the curtains open. ‘I once saw a guy get caught by five passersby – he was somewhat embarrassed,’ says Annabelle. At Annabelle’s second event, there were ‘hotter men, less of them asking to f*** me, and the ability to tease them without touching – that’s when I knew I love this.’